FIVE most annoying people at gigs

Live music events are supposed to be a joyous occasion where you get to see your favourite
artists perform their greatest hits and meet like minded people who might become your best friends. I’ve met quite a lot of people thanks to certain bands, and we all have to admit that music is one of the greatest uniting forces of the world.

But we’ve got to be realistic. Gigs are not all good. Sometimes the sound is not the best and the guitars or bass drown the vocals. Sometimes the microphone malfunctions and you are deafened by a high-pitched noise you never thought could ever be produced. Sometimes the vocalist had one too many Jagerbombs before the show and forgot the lyrics. And every now and then the enthusiastic fan next to you spills their beer down your top.

I’ve been to enough gigs now to start noticing certain types of behaviour that are some people’s idea of a good time and my idea of obnoxious drunken rudeness.

1. The photographer without the press pass
You’ve seen the type. You might even be the type. This person has a decent digital camera
that has helped immortalise many precious moments in their life, so they naturally thought it would be a good idea to bring it along with to the gig and take a couple of pictures. Except there’s one thing he or she didn’t quite consider. The camera will most likely let them down. Most gigs do not have the best lighting for photography, unless you’re in the photo pit with a DSLR and actually know what you’re doing. The average music fan is also a little too far from the stage to be able to take good pictures. So what this person is actually doing is obstructing the view, probably using the flash function right in your eyes, and only manages to get a blurry, not-so-good photo. They’re also missing the gig. And there’s never just one. There are lots of photographers.

2. The bloke carrying his girlfriend on his shoulders
This guy usually appears at festivals and stadium gigs, and usually ends up somewhere
between the tenth and the twentieth row. Close enough to the stage to bother 75% of the
audience, but not close enough to please his girlfriend. So he takes up the role of knight-in-
shiny armour that carries his girlfriend on his shoulders for half the night. This is extremely annoying for everyone standing behind him. It’s hard enough to deal with someone much taller than you and staring at the back of their head most of the night, but this guy’s demonstration of force is just inconsiderate to everyone. The tall guy can’t help it. This bloke can buy better tickets or queue up earlier to be closer to the stage. And buy his girlfriend a decent pair of heels.

3. The guy who puts his hands up while holding a glass of beer
I love a glass of beer at a gig, especially if we’re talking rock or metal. They go together so well. I just don’t like it poured over my head. Thankfully that never actually happened, but I had a few near-soak experiences and that was enough to make me want to run like hell whenever I see a guy doing this. Sure, everything will most likely be fine and the bloke won’t tilt the glass too much, but there is also a significant chance that he will. The probability of getting out of there 100% dry is just not high enough. And nobody wants to spend an entire night smelling like alcohol. Guys, because I’ve never seen a girl do that, please stop it.

4.The really, really drunk one
Why? Why would you buy a ticket to a gig, maybe even spend a lot of money on it if it’s a high-profile band or a festival, and get completely hammered before it even starts? What is this person going to remember from the event? The feeling of regret and shame? I get it, sometimes drinks are really expensive, but that’s no excuse for drinking so much before a gig that you don’t even know the name of the artist on stage. Shame on you.

5. The topless guy
Some guys seem to think that they can get away with taking their shirt off and parading around topless for a while. Here’s the thing: unless you’re Jared Leto, you can’t really get away with it. People will judge. It’s the same thing with girls who go out clubbing and take their shoes off halfway through the night. When you dress up to go out, make a commitment to your clothes that you will not abandon them no matter what. It’s distasteful. Wear something comfortable that makes you feel good about yourself, and keep it on until you get back home.

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